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Using your example of oral sex, most Catholic moralists agree (some do not, but reasonable minds can differ on non-definitive matters), that oral sex is licit as a form of foreplay. So if your eye-even your good eye-causes you to lust, gouge it out and throw it away. Fr. Well, I wish I had Michael here to ask him what precisely what he has in mind by lusting after his wife. So let me go at it from a Bible text and then circle around maybe and guess at what Michael might have in his mind and do the best to answer his question. The answer to this question is multi-faceted, so hang with me for just a minute. The pleasure which this vice has as its object is at once so attractive and connatural to human nature as to whet keenly a man's desire, and so lead him into the commission of many other disorders in the pursuit of it. Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. Not going to Mass every week isnt a mortal sin according to the Archbishop of Dublin. Thats what happened when David, after seeing Bathsheba bathing on the rooftop, went the next step by sending messengers to inquire after her and bring her to his palace (2 Samuel 11:3, 4). This is why writers of Scripture so often compare idolatry to the sin of fornication or adultery. Weve recently heard several questions related to whether or not its a sin to lust over your spouse. He is said to have committed adultery with her in his heart if he looked on a woman to lust after her. If you are governed by this approach to love and honor and holiness in a sexual relationship, I dont think it is wrong for a husband to want his wife sexually and to think about having her and to hold her in his mind the way he would hold her in bed. Sexual pleasure does not always mean turning away from God but its important to look at what that fantasy is rooted in and if that fantasy will cause a physical or mental wedge between you and your spouse. And in the same way, the husbands body does not belong to him alone, but to his wife. When Is It Wrong to Have Lust For Your Spouse? - Probe Ministries I feel there is NO way a couple who is married in the Catholic . Is Masturbation a Sin If You're Not Lusting, and It's an Ingrained Is it ever not a sin to masturbate? | GotQuestions.org It continues by stating, "Adultery is an injustice. Is it sinful to lust after your boyfriend or girlfriend? Because of this, it is difficult to determine what is right and this is wrong. Spouses taking pleasure in one another sexually isnt simply okay, but part of the human meaning of the marital act. The basic answer is that it's impossible to sin by lusting after your spouse, because within the covenant of marriage, God gives us an enormous amount of freedom to express our desire for one another. If you go with vessel as wife, which is what I am doing here, then it reads something like this: Each one of you should know how to possess [or have] a wife in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God, which means there is a sinful way to treat your wife in sexual relations.